April Ann Anna (jonnytwojonnie) wrote,
April Ann Anna

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My life's a mess and going nowhere fast, I just kinda hanging in work so much and all ( no internet or me time) I haven't had enough time to worry about my mental health and gender probs. I know that sounds lame, but every time I think to call the really close and convenient therapist, I say to myself " I do it tomorrow in the morning its to late now". Tomorrow turns into the next day then next week, a month and now a year later! I want to stop running away and face my problems head but I so not into choosing. I want to change time and go back and be born a girl and just face being a lesbian. Thats not gonna happen though :( I want to change so bad but I'm so scared. Without the support of my family and most of my friends what will become of me, without my job where will I live/food/life? But how long can I keep this bottled up? I'm about to explode as it is. I hate choices, I hate that this is my thorn in the side, this is my life struggle, why couldn't be something else. Just don't think I could handle it either way..
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